Adventures on the CTA: Douchebag Edition

So Judgment day has come and humanity now has to pay for its sins.

The upside is that the good may survive this Armageddon if the wicked are righteously punished for their transgressions. Yay.

It seems like a certain quota of those punished must be met but how to chose among so many?!?
We've got rapists, murderers, baby eaters, thieves? Not to mention Kirsten Dunst?

There should be only one criteria, in my opinion, and it should be this:

Any able-bodied person who chooses to stand by the car reader/bus driver, blocking new entrants' access to the bus, slowing the bus down, delaying everyone's commute, and pissing me the fuck off.

Now, due to the double whammy of being an only child and an Aquarius, I have come to have more pet peeves than most (ok, I could start a shelter) but this has got to be top three.
I have failed to understand such behavior and thus have relegated said transgressors to be sacrificed for the greater good.

There is a scale though, not all being equal (unlike U. S. of A.)

Double douche bag points if you block the Chicago Card reader

Triple douche bag points if you block the Chicago Card reader and act surprised/like you are doing me a favor when you so graciously move your ass aside so I can pay my g*ddamn fare

Quadruple douche bag points (for both participants) if two or more douche bags team up to stand on both sides of the front of the bus, thus creating a funnel-like bus entry system. I do not need to squeeze by two assholes just to get home

In the meantime, time has taught me to accept the things I can't change, or know the difference or however that footprints in the sand thing goes.

But come Judgment day.... I shall be uber victorious.