Cooking catastrophe

Ok so I can't take credit for this entry, as the incident did not happen to me. My bf tried to emulate my cooking skills with some difficulty and emailed me with a summary of his endeavor. What follows sounds so familiar it might as well have been me. Enjoy:

so i was looking in my fridge and saw that i still had an onion, a bell pepper and 2 tomatoes so i thought to myself, "hey maybe i'll make an omelette for lunch!"

mistake 1 - thinking i could make an omelette

so i decided to use 5 eggs like you did last time. cut up the onion/bell pepper/tomato and placed it in the food processor cuz i was too lazy to dice them

mistake 2 - WAY too much ingredients. ended up using half of each which was still way too much. looked like an egg jumbalaya
mistake 3 - food processor does not dice well

ingredients came out pretty close to a puree. already over-invested at this point so i put shrimp and bacon in the food processor also. put everything in the eggs and placed it in the frying pan.

mistake 4 - vegetables have a high water content especially when pureed

so as i try to fry the damn omelette, it boiled instead, bubbling under the omelette and escaping at the edges in a volcano-like fashion. desperate, i took a teaspoon (why not a tablespoon? i don't know) and started scooping out the water while using my ladle as a de-facto sandbag. reminded me of katrina. didn't work.

too much damn water so the eggs wouldn't fry. scrambled it instead, which released even more water. i scooped till my fingers cramped.

didn't taste bad though. imagine half boiled and half fried eggs... yum.